A FAMILY PLAN FOR VALUE DEVELOPMENT

1)      Identify three to five core values that govern the family attitudes, communication, rules and behavior.  Describe these values in short, clear and positive sentences.  For example:  Honesty and trust make our family work; in this family, everyone matters and counts and we treat each other that way.

2)       Post these values in a place visible to the entire family.

3)      Connect family rules to family values.

4)      Issue value based explanations of the rules.  “You may not do that because in this family, we treat others like they matter and count.”

5)      Point out value based behavior when you see it in your children.

6)      Building a value based support network:

         ·         Who are the people in our lives that support our family values and how can we build stronger relationships with them?

         ·        What is the value based activities in which our children participate?

         ·        In what value based or value enhancing activities do we as adults participate?

         ·        Is our family currently participating in any activities that contradict our family values?  

7)      Reflect on the impact of media in your family

          ·        What type of television does the family watch and what are the value messages reflected in these programs?

          ·        What type of music are our children exposed to and what are the value messages reflected in this music?    

          ·        What type of video games are my children exposed to and what are the value messages?          

          ·        What are some value based movies, books and music with which I would like my children to become more familiar?            

          ·        Does our family discuss situations in the media that contradict our family values?

8)       What is my value heritage and have I shared this with my children?

          ·        What are my most vivid childhood memories of whom and what shaped my beliefs?

          ·        Have I shared these stories with my children and spouse?

9)     Implement a value based family ritual at least one (1) time a week that allows the family to discuss or experience one of the core family values.

10) Strive to make value based decisions and teach value based (not just outcome based) decisions.

11)  Model core values both through behavior and explanation.

(This information is taken from Janice Gabe’s Publication “Confident Parenting in a Complex World.” Copyright 2015)